I’m sorry if my crying has made you worried sick. When you asked me the question last night, I was so worried if my crying has made me hurt your feelings.
You asked if I regretted marrying you that ends up with me being here in USA, far away from my home, my family and friends.
No tiny regret in marrying you baby.
In fact, I don’t even know what I have done to deserve someone so amazing like you.
You are truly a blessing in my life baby. You are a wonderful husband, my best friend and I am one lucky woman to have you as my husband. Forever mine, baby.
I thank God everyday for you in my life and pray that we’ll be together forever.
Through best or worst.
I cried not because I am not happy with you.
I cried because I miss everyone back home. I miss my parents and my brothers.
Those past years I’ve never thought I’d be so far away from my family. So far away our world is totally opposite.
We are 12 hours behind.
They are having breakfast while we are having dinner.
They are sleeping soundly while we are up doing things.
They are driving on the correct side of the road and we are driving on the wrong side.
Sometimes I wonder if I have been good enough of a daughter to them.
I wonder if I have made them proud.
Being far away from home also makes me wonder if I’d be able to care for them when they are old, sick and fragile. Just like how they care for me when I was sick under their care.
And as with my brothers, I am happy we have spent a lot of time together growing up. It’s Sabri I’m worried about.
All those years studying in Kuching made me miss most of his toddler time. By the time I was home for good, he was going to secondary school.
I guess by the time I see him again, he’d be out if high school and become a handsome man I hope he’d become.
And also at that time, it would be embarrassing for him if i give him kisses just like how I used to give him.
I have been crying a lot baby.
But you’ve only seen twice.
Once when we were talking about crackers and the second one was yesterday at the baseball game.
I try not to cry in front of you because I know that would make you sad.
Your ultimate goal is to make you happy.
I am happy baby. Sometimes I’m just home sick.
So don’t you worry okay.
Being with you makes me happy. Your bubbly personality, your smile and your touch are amazing baby.
Don’t ever stop loving me because I’ll never stop loving you, sweetheart.
Lastly, I’m sorry I broke down in front of you. Never my intention to hurt you in any way baby.
Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder in Suite 11 at Parkview Field yesterday. I know you’ll always have my back. And your shoulders are always there for me to cry on. 😉
I love you baby. Toodles for now okay? See you when you get home.
Your loving wife.